For much of my life, I've been (or at least felt like) "the fat kid". Yeah, there have been short periods of time where something causes me to slim down (like track and field in middle school or converting to vegetarianism in college)... but inevitably I would balloon back up to 200-ish lbs. I would get frustrated with myself because of my lack of commitment to making myself healthy and/or thin. I admired people with perfectly sculpted bodies and felt angry and jealous. And wondered what in the hell was wrong with me.
This year I am grabbing life by the balls and making it what I want so I can enjoy my life the way I want it. I'll pretend like it's a spin off from my emotional healing process. Heck, maybe it's not even a spin off. Maybe a continuation.
Regardless... I returned to my apartment after Christmas Break with my family in the Midwest to find that I had gained 6 pounds... in ten days. I ate like a glutton. I disgusted myself with all of the sweets and food I ate, yet I was the one who put the food there and was the only one to blame for the result. I returned home weighing 215 lbs. The heaviest weight my body has ever felt was 224 in college. And here I was, climbing back up there again. I deemed it unacceptable and decided to make
the biggest decision of my life...
I was going to get healthy!
Yeah, yeah... you're saying "Everyone says that..." or "Nobody keeps New Year's Resolutions..." FYI, this was no stinkin' resolution! This was for REAL. My friend told me about a site she had started using to log calories and exercise on and she invited me to join her. I thought "what the hell--may be useful", so I signed up. Lo and behold, I loved it. It was like Facebook for people trying to get their lives together. All of these amazing, supportive people trying to kick their bad habits, eat well, exercise more,
and encourage each other. How easy it would be to get jealous of someone else who has lost 2 lbs the day you gain 1 lb. And yet, that component of evil isn't there. It's so positive--strangers embracing strangers in common journeys. I can't tell you how much I love the site and the people. The site gives you access to charts and graphs that track your progress. To date, I've lost just over 27 lbs... I have 48 more pounds to go! More exercise, better choices, naughty foods in moderation... the whole bit. I am there. Every success makes me feel more and more empowered. I know I
can do this, and I know
I will. If you had asked me a year ago if this was possible, I would have laughed in your face... but now I'm laughing in my past's face. And boy does it feel good.
Website referenced: www.loseit.com
(There is also an Android App -- to use on a phone or Kindle!)
You know, its funny, I don't even know how I discovered LoseIt! I believe I was browsing on my new kindle in the Amazon apps page, and there it was, I tried it, and loved it, and thought it would be so much fun to have a buddy to chat with day in and day out!!! I didn't expect you at all to go at in full force, but I am sooo glad you did! I coudln't have picked a better year to Lose it... for real, this year was the year, out of all the years I have tried and failed. I just got back up again! Love your blog karen!!!! & thank you! --Jen : )
ReplyDeleteI am so thankful that you stumbled upon Lose It and, more importantly, that you invited me to try it with you. At first, I had the mindset of "Oh, I've tried this kind of thing before... and wasn't successful, but whatever. I'll try it again." It was also a stroke of faith (thanks mom!) that we both got Kindles this Christmas. I know being able to log through the Fire as well as read while stationary biking has given me extra investment. Also, something this time was so different in the healthy journey. The combination of having an amazing friend doing this with me and finally feeling empowered made a spark. And we haven't given up! :-D Thank you for reading Jen and thank you for supporting me!
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