After that journal entry from the first counseling session, I continued to seek counseling and found that I was becoming stronger and more independent. I didn't need anyone to make me happy; as a matter of fact, I was happier alone than I had been before that. My friends and family supported me so much. I owe quite a bit to them. I had setbacks like everyone does, but I read my positive journal entry every time I was struggling to remind myself of my worth. I sought support online through forums and talked with people who had been through what I'd been through, many of them had been through worse than me. Regardless, I began to see it as the world's way of helping me along in life. That struggle--that scary terrible patch--was life's way of saying "there are other plans for you out there"! There have been potholes on the road, but nothing that I cannot overcome. It took me six to eight months to get over some of the feelings, but I noticed over time that the feelings became less and less. 6-8 months may sound like a long time, but it's nothing compared to 7 years. When you are with your first love, you think they are your hero. They hold the stars up in the sky. Eventually we have to figure out what really holds those stars up there. (An Aside: In April, 30 days before I found out "the news", I decided to pull myself off of my anti-depressant because I didn't love the way I felt. That meant I went through everything without it, and that meant I felt every emotion quite clearly... yet I was still able to find the light in the darkness.)
Compiled 3.22.12
Losing inches!!!
Size 24 ---> 20